Jun. 16th, 2012 02:53 am
ishyface: (Default)
Showgirls is pretty much the greatest movie on the face of the planet. You heard it here first, kids.

oh, bless

May. 9th, 2012 12:06 pm
ishyface: (everyone's so intimately rearranged)
Introducing Laura Jane Grace. I am so excited for her I may pee a little.
ishyface: (Default)
Entry number five. )
ishyface: (a good place to think about the future)
Chapter Six is now up! I added in that gif mostly because I rewatched Hot Fuzz last night and it was as gay as I recalled.
ishyface: (everyone's so intimately rearranged)

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}

Perhaps this'll be a good way to force myself back into blogging about every goddamn thing in my life ever. Even if it doesn't, it should be fun while it lasts.

My subject is 100 Things I Really Really Like (Plus Stories). These things could be songs, books, memories, philosophies, quotes, food, animals, and pretty much anything else I feel like throwing into the mix. (I'm keeping my topic deliberately vague so I can write about whatever. It's like being a freshman all over again.) I get pretty enthusiastic about crap I like, so expect! lots! of! exclamation! points!
ishyface: (Default)
Chapter Four is now up! George Cooper: still creepy, gettin' creepier.

The Missus and I (plus a mutual friend) went to see The Hunger Games last night, and WERE WE NOT ENTERTAINED?! (We were, in fact!) Cinna and Haymitch were my favourites in the books and they continued to be my favourites on screen, but more so because Woody Harrelson and also Lenny Kravitz forever. I am weirded out that the dudes they got to play Peeta and Gale are being marketed as teen heartthrobs now, though. Those were the derpiest faces that ever hurr'd a durr.

Also: Wes Bentley's beard. I want one.
ishyface: (twisted by design)
Yes, in fact, there is something more annoying than hipsters. It's when you spend all your time whining about hipsters and how they've ruined everything and you're totally NOT one because you liked the Smiths FIRST and also BEST (really? the Smiths? that's the hipster litmus test? everybody I fucking KNOW listens to goddamn "How Soon Is Now", if the Smiths are for hipsters so is fucking Coldplay) and you used to smoke a stem pipe because you like the taste of pipe tobacco but then those fuckers down in Williamsburg ruined it and blah blah blah I am the specialest why does no one notice how cool and precious and non-hipstery I am.


Maybe you are a hipster! Maybe you're not! Maybe it is a completely arbitrary meaningless word people throw around when other people like things they like and they feel insecure about it! WHO CARES. SERIOUSLY, WHO CARES. Either no one is a hipster, because you can't just decide whether or not someone likes something genuinely or ironically by looking at them, or everyone is a hipster, because everybody likes at least one "cool" thing, and either way everyone needs to shut their fucking yawps about hipsters so we can all get on with listening to Meat Is Murder on vinyl. Fuck.

This rant, first articulated at nine in the morning to one of my cats, is brought to you by the world's most annoying man.
ishyface: (i shall never grow old)
I've recently discovered a blog called Adulting, in which an intrepid reporter gives advice on how to behave like, well, an adult. It occasionally has some advice I disagree with- no one but no one is going to take away my goddamn posters, okay? I don't CARE if it's "college-y"- and there's this weird recurring Joan Holloway idolization that weirds me out*, but it is generally a very useful resource that has taught me some interesting tidbits. (Example: did you know you can put damp sponges in the microwave to get rid of bad sponge smells? Well, now you do!)

It's made me start thinking about things I do (or would like to start doing!) that make me feel like an adult, in that happy, cozy, I-am-not-the-fuckup-I-figured-I'd-be-when-I-was-thirteen-and-thinking-about-my-impending-adulthood way. Here are some of them:

1. Making lists. I make a fuck of a lot of lists. To Do lists, grocery lists, music lists, invite lists, clothing lists, lists of names for the hypothetical children my ladyfriend and I might eventually want to have.** Lists are quick, easy, and give your life that extra organizational boost you (and I) probably need.

2. Taking out the garbage the night before garbage day. Full disclosure: I did this for the first time last night and it was AWESOME. What seems to take forever first thing in the morning takes roughly five seconds at night, and then you don't have to worry about getting up early to catch the garbage truck. \o/

3. Taking your beer bottles to be recycled. Amy and I drink a lot. This is probably not news to anyone who's seen that elbow licking video, but, yeah, we do. For the past year or so we had roughly forty boxes of empties just stacked in corners, like that unwelcome guest who is still in your living room when 4 A.M. rolls around. A few weeks ago we lugged the lot of them to the local corner store to be recycled and got a whopping eleven dollars back for our trouble.*** It was like we were being paid to clear out our kitchen.

4. Making tea in a pot. This could also be "owning a tea pot," since there are few things that make you feel as delightfully, tweely adult as owning a tea pot. Using it is even better, though! Using a tea pot to make tea means that you get tea (which is a plus because tea), and also everyone around you gets tea (which is a plus because you seem very sweet and thoughtful while enjoying your own delicious tea). There are no losers in situations involving tea pots.

5. Doing the dishes immediately after meals. Because the only alternative is rummaging in your cupboard for a bowl and slowly realizing that every single one you own is in the sink under ten thousand encrusted soup tureens.

6. Setting time aside to do housework. This is an adult thing that I was very committed to as a preteen. Every Saturday would see me meticulously tidying my room (this routine included dusting and vacuuming), scouring my hamster's cage, and cleaning the backyard. And then I would sit down and eat donuts and reread Through The Looking-Glass. True story! Now that I have a job and also friends and a life I usually can't commit the exact same day and length of time every week to cleaning, but I still try to make sure I schedule at least a little time every week.

7. Getting things tailored. This is one of those things I'd like to start doing. Due to recent weight gain I've gotten rid of a lot of clothes I actually really liked, and have only recently discovered that I could have gotten half that shit fixed to fit my new voluminous ass. Also, apparently these days they actually hem your jeans so they don't get all gross and raggedy where you step on them! SOLD.

8. Eating breakfast. I hate breakfast. Like, really fucking hate it. When I get up in the morning all I want to do is drink tea and stare blearily at my computer screen waiting for the world to make sense. However, I started eating breakfast a few months ago (because I am taking vitamins and if you take them on an empty stomach you are guaranteed a one-way ticket to Pukeville), and you know what? It makes me more alert! I have more energy! I am more cheerful and less likely to be mopey about the fact that I am up early! It is sad that it took me twenty three years to figure this out, but now I know, and breakfast is a regular occurrence for me. I may hate having to choke down a NutriBar while the rest of the world snoozes madly on, but it beats being cranky and listless all day.

9. Keeping up with the news. Another thing I'd really like to start doing (but haven't yet). Newspapers, the evening news, blogs and websites- there are a hell of a lot of ways to keep up with current events and not feel like a dumbass when people talk about them in front of you.**** Also, your Tumblr dash is not a legitimate news outlet, ELLIOTT. GOD.

10. Keeping the medicine cabinet stocked. A word to the wise: when you run out of any item in your medicine cabinet, replace it immediately. It is vey tempting to look at whatever you've run out of, think "oh, I won't need that for a long time," and promptly forget about it... until a few days later when you desperately need that thing and all local stores are closed. Think you don't need more Aspirin? Congratulations, here's a migraine. Feel like you can go a few days without Pepto-Bismol? Enjoy your heartburn! Use the last Band-Aid and blithely throw away the box? I guarantee you will lose an appendage in a meat grinder the next day. Keep your medicine cabinet full at all times and you will never find yourself walking thirty minutes to an all-night convenience store at three in the morning to buy a ten-dollar bottle of Tylenol.

What makes you feel like an adult, flist?

* It weirds me out when anyone idolizes Joan Holloway, to be honest. Yes, Joan is foxy and occasionally funny, but she is also mean as fuck and tends to lash out at the people beneath her when her life is shitty. Which is most of the time, because she is a woman in the sixties who married her rapist. If you love her clothes or her wit or whatever, fair enough, but if you want to model yourself after her, as a lot of people seem to want to do, I totally do not get your deal and think you are a little weird. I feel the same way about people who are super into Britta from Community. She is the WORST, guys, WHY DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH HER.

** My current favourite is "Matilda."

*** I then used this to buy a cheap bottle of red wine. I am nothing if not consistent.

**** Is there anything worse than that burny-face feeling you get when someone asks you a question about a current headline that you not only know nothing about, but did not even know existed? Well... yes. There are a lot of things worse than that, like genocide and famine and malaria and school shootings. It's embarrassing, is what I'm saying.
ishyface: (when silly thoughts go through my head)
Me: Wow. They're really not trying at all anymore, are they?
Amy: I'm hoping that soon they'll do a wacky episode about a Martian.
Me: And they'll have to operate on him to take the gleeborp out of his klipnards.
Amy: And then it'll turn out to be lupus.
ishyface: (new words for old desires)
George is so fucking creepy. Do you remember him as a creepy dude? Yeah, I didn't either.
ishyface: (everything must belong somewhere)
Chapter two is up. Still a terrible book!
ishyface: (Default)
Ages ago, someone on my flist posted a link to a site full of pictures of heavily tattooed people in casual wear next to pictures of the same people in their work clothes. I can't remember the name- Corporate Ink? Ink Inc?- but Google ain't giving me shit. Anyone have the URL?

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