jsyk, I only got as far as 'Alanna can be the narwhal' before my loud sporfling startled all the cats + a neighbour who was walking past my open window. When get high as fuck and draw Ms. de Trebond as a freshly-knighted marine mammal, you'll be 50% at fault. Hope your conscience is up to the task...
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p.s. What do you want for your birthday?