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In which we ruminate on being a fan and the importance of makin' shit.
One of my favourite films (maybe even my favourite film, period) is Velvet Goldmine. (If you have known me for less than five minutes this may be news, but even then I doubt it.) I first picked it up four years ago mostly because of Ewan McGregor, and I've worn out my copy since then. It's got everything I require of a good movie- conspiracy theories, glam rock, gay sex, beautiful visuals, Toni Collette being her wonderful self, Oscar Wilde references, apocalyptic visions of the future, and sequins.
Um. I ask a lot of good movies, apparently.
This has always been one of my favourite scenes. Not just from this movie, but from everything. Context sees Christian Bale as a British schoolboy in the seventies and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as the totally-not-David-Bowie pop star he's recently become obsessed with.
I've felt that way about music- not just about music, but about the people making it. It's a strange thing to be a fan, really, to identify so wholeheartedly with the words and music and art of someone who will probably never meet you. It brings you closer to them and at the same time reminds you of how far you are from this person you idolize. It even fucking hurts sometimes, because you think if I could just tell them, if I could just let them know somehow...
And you can't, really, because there's no way to say "your music changed my life" or "your book makes me want to write" or "your film is the one I come back to, always" and make someone fully understand that you mean it. How much you mean it. Art makes you responsible, and that can be scary- the idea that something that comes from inside you can actually change someone's life, can do for them what it did for you, can feel almost ludicrous from the outside. That's the frustrating aspect of being a fan.
But the rest of it is fucking awesome.
I know there are some people who disagree. They listen to music if it's on the radio, and they watch movies if there's nothing else to do, and they read books if they're stuck in an airport, and at the end of the day they can take it or leave it. I know that, objectively, but I don't really understand it because it's alien to my own experience. Being a fan makes you biased that way. (It even makes you a little self-righteous, sometimes.) Loving something so much it hurts doesn't really make sense from the outside, but it's also one of the most important things in the world. Feeling passionate about something, identifying with something, takes you away from that notion that life is all about eating and sleeping and passing on your genes. Being a fan is about that passion, in the same way that most important things are.
The things that people make have changed my life, and I fucking love that. I love that people have the power to create things that will make people sit up, take them outside the petty, mindless bullshit in everyday life and make them realize that there are whole worlds full of wonderful things and terrible things and beautiful things and twisted things and people like them.
Oh, no, love, you're not alone.
Because that moment where you stand up and you shout "That's me!" matters. It does.
Um. I ask a lot of good movies, apparently.
This has always been one of my favourite scenes. Not just from this movie, but from everything. Context sees Christian Bale as a British schoolboy in the seventies and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as the totally-not-David-Bowie pop star he's recently become obsessed with.
I've felt that way about music- not just about music, but about the people making it. It's a strange thing to be a fan, really, to identify so wholeheartedly with the words and music and art of someone who will probably never meet you. It brings you closer to them and at the same time reminds you of how far you are from this person you idolize. It even fucking hurts sometimes, because you think if I could just tell them, if I could just let them know somehow...
And you can't, really, because there's no way to say "your music changed my life" or "your book makes me want to write" or "your film is the one I come back to, always" and make someone fully understand that you mean it. How much you mean it. Art makes you responsible, and that can be scary- the idea that something that comes from inside you can actually change someone's life, can do for them what it did for you, can feel almost ludicrous from the outside. That's the frustrating aspect of being a fan.
But the rest of it is fucking awesome.
I know there are some people who disagree. They listen to music if it's on the radio, and they watch movies if there's nothing else to do, and they read books if they're stuck in an airport, and at the end of the day they can take it or leave it. I know that, objectively, but I don't really understand it because it's alien to my own experience. Being a fan makes you biased that way. (It even makes you a little self-righteous, sometimes.) Loving something so much it hurts doesn't really make sense from the outside, but it's also one of the most important things in the world. Feeling passionate about something, identifying with something, takes you away from that notion that life is all about eating and sleeping and passing on your genes. Being a fan is about that passion, in the same way that most important things are.
The things that people make have changed my life, and I fucking love that. I love that people have the power to create things that will make people sit up, take them outside the petty, mindless bullshit in everyday life and make them realize that there are whole worlds full of wonderful things and terrible things and beautiful things and twisted things and people like them.
Oh, no, love, you're not alone.
Because that moment where you stand up and you shout "That's me!" matters. It does.
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I think my very very very earliest "that's me" moment that I can remember occured when I was probably 5ish, 6ish. I was like, watching Sleeping Beauty and the prince . . . that was me. I wanted to totally go out and fight the baddies.
I had a similar identification with Robin Hood, Peter Pan, Darkwing Duck, Batman. Eh.
Basically = OMG DO-GOODERS EDGING INTO BADASSED REBELS. WHO SAVED THE WORLD.
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Am not totally going to rent Velvet Goldmine and watch it FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME this weekend.
I think I'll make it my carrot - ie - I have one final push to make on my assessments - when I finish them, I get to Velvet Goldmine. *nods*
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I think old DVDs I get for a week from the library!
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I think the first time I felt myself totally identifying with someone- not a character, just a pop star- was Brian Molko when I was fourteen or so.
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*scratches head*
I don't remember who I identified with as a teenager. I know who I fancied, but that's a bit different. I identified so often with characters . . . I still identify often with characters, more than pop stars or real life personalities. I guess because I assume I can't know them (because in a lot of ways, I don't) so I don't know if I can identify with them.
Probably . . . The Indigo Girls, when I was 13.
Darkwing Duck was awesome. He was a bit whiny and wimpy compared to other superheros (which made him more personable in a way . . . he was always worried his beak looked fat, hahaha), but totally devoted dad. <3 <3 <3 With a really awesome kickass tomboy daughter.
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And also: Zorro. OH. MY. GOD. Such a Zorro freak. I totally wanted to ride around waving a saber and smiling mysteriously behind a mask. AND A BLACK CAPE.
And that reminds me: Star Wars. Luke Skywalker.
God. I am SUCH a fantasy/epic/scific escapist nut.
Dude, could you BE more gay?
Best part is this fine bit of narration on DW's part:
"And terror runs through the streets like a pair of cheap stockings!"
HOLY COW.
Re: Dude, could you BE more gay?
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