on being an adult

[ishyface]

I've recently discovered a blog called Adulting, in which an intrepid reporter gives advice on how to behave like, well, an adult. It occasionally has some advice I disagree with- no one but no one is going to take away my goddamn posters, okay? I don't CARE if it's "college-y"- and there's this weird recurring Joan Holloway idolization that weirds me out*, but it is generally a very useful resource that has taught me some interesting tidbits. (Example: did you know you can put damp sponges in the microwave to get rid of bad sponge smells? Well, now you do!)

It's made me start thinking about things I do (or would like to start doing!) that make me feel like an adult, in that happy, cozy, I-am-not-the-fuckup-I-figured-I'd-be-when-I-was-thirteen-and-thinking-about-my-impending-adulthood way. Here are some of them:

1. Making lists. I make a fuck of a lot of lists. To Do lists, grocery lists, music lists, invite lists, clothing lists, lists of names for the hypothetical children my ladyfriend and I might eventually want to have.** Lists are quick, easy, and give your life that extra organizational boost you (and I) probably need.

2. Taking out the garbage the night before garbage day. Full disclosure: I did this for the first time last night and it was AWESOME. What seems to take forever first thing in the morning takes roughly five seconds at night, and then you don't have to worry about getting up early to catch the garbage truck. \o/

3. Taking your beer bottles to be recycled. Amy and I drink a lot. This is probably not news to anyone who's seen that elbow licking video, but, yeah, we do. For the past year or so we had roughly forty boxes of empties just stacked in corners, like that unwelcome guest who is still in your living room when 4 A.M. rolls around. A few weeks ago we lugged the lot of them to the local corner store to be recycled and got a whopping eleven dollars back for our trouble.*** It was like we were being paid to clear out our kitchen.

4. Making tea in a pot. This could also be "owning a tea pot," since there are few things that make you feel as delightfully, tweely adult as owning a tea pot. Using it is even better, though! Using a tea pot to make tea means that you get tea (which is a plus because tea), and also everyone around you gets tea (which is a plus because you seem very sweet and thoughtful while enjoying your own delicious tea). There are no losers in situations involving tea pots.

5. Doing the dishes immediately after meals. Because the only alternative is rummaging in your cupboard for a bowl and slowly realizing that every single one you own is in the sink under ten thousand encrusted soup tureens.

6. Setting time aside to do housework. This is an adult thing that I was very committed to as a preteen. Every Saturday would see me meticulously tidying my room (this routine included dusting and vacuuming), scouring my hamster's cage, and cleaning the backyard. And then I would sit down and eat donuts and reread Through The Looking-Glass. True story! Now that I have a job and also friends and a life I usually can't commit the exact same day and length of time every week to cleaning, but I still try to make sure I schedule at least a little time every week.

7. Getting things tailored. This is one of those things I'd like to start doing. Due to recent weight gain I've gotten rid of a lot of clothes I actually really liked, and have only recently discovered that I could have gotten half that shit fixed to fit my new voluminous ass. Also, apparently these days they actually hem your jeans so they don't get all gross and raggedy where you step on them! SOLD.

8. Eating breakfast. I hate breakfast. Like, really fucking hate it. When I get up in the morning all I want to do is drink tea and stare blearily at my computer screen waiting for the world to make sense. However, I started eating breakfast a few months ago (because I am taking vitamins and if you take them on an empty stomach you are guaranteed a one-way ticket to Pukeville), and you know what? It makes me more alert! I have more energy! I am more cheerful and less likely to be mopey about the fact that I am up early! It is sad that it took me twenty three years to figure this out, but now I know, and breakfast is a regular occurrence for me. I may hate having to choke down a NutriBar while the rest of the world snoozes madly on, but it beats being cranky and listless all day.

9. Keeping up with the news. Another thing I'd really like to start doing (but haven't yet). Newspapers, the evening news, blogs and websites- there are a hell of a lot of ways to keep up with current events and not feel like a dumbass when people talk about them in front of you.**** Also, your Tumblr dash is not a legitimate news outlet, ELLIOTT. GOD.

10. Keeping the medicine cabinet stocked. A word to the wise: when you run out of any item in your medicine cabinet, replace it immediately. It is vey tempting to look at whatever you've run out of, think "oh, I won't need that for a long time," and promptly forget about it... until a few days later when you desperately need that thing and all local stores are closed. Think you don't need more Aspirin? Congratulations, here's a migraine. Feel like you can go a few days without Pepto-Bismol? Enjoy your heartburn! Use the last Band-Aid and blithely throw away the box? I guarantee you will lose an appendage in a meat grinder the next day. Keep your medicine cabinet full at all times and you will never find yourself walking thirty minutes to an all-night convenience store at three in the morning to buy a ten-dollar bottle of Tylenol.

What makes you feel like an adult, flist?



* It weirds me out when anyone idolizes Joan Holloway, to be honest. Yes, Joan is foxy and occasionally funny, but she is also mean as fuck and tends to lash out at the people beneath her when her life is shitty. Which is most of the time, because she is a woman in the sixties who married her rapist. If you love her clothes or her wit or whatever, fair enough, but if you want to model yourself after her, as a lot of people seem to want to do, I totally do not get your deal and think you are a little weird. I feel the same way about people who are super into Britta from Community. She is the WORST, guys, WHY DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH HER.

** My current favourite is "Matilda."

*** I then used this to buy a cheap bottle of red wine. I am nothing if not consistent.

**** Is there anything worse than that burny-face feeling you get when someone asks you a question about a current headline that you not only know nothing about, but did not even know existed? Well... yes. There are a lot of things worse than that, like genocide and famine and malaria and school shootings. It's embarrassing, is what I'm saying.

Comments

[danceinacircle.livejournal.com]

I've been working on being more of a grown-up as well lately, mainly by trying this crazy new method of organization called "make sure everything you own has a place it belongs". It sounds so simple but when you start you're all "holy shit this works". I feel like having a clean house (which I've actually yet to have) is such an adult thing.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

I am still working on that! My night table is a thing of nightmares.

[iamsupernova.livejournal.com]

I know your Britta feels, bro!!

Oh my god, I fucking love lists. I have a moleskine especially for lists.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

NO ONE SHOULD LIKE BRITTA. BRITTA IS THE WORSTTTTT.

I have several notebooks that are meant to serve as diaries. They are all full of gd lists.

[spikey-kris.livejournal.com]

I'll be 30 this year (NOOOOOO) and I am still terrible at being an adult. I do make copious amounts of lists though. Lists for everything, because I get a sense of accomplishment when I check things off on my list and it motivates me to check MORE things off the list.

And grocery lists. Grocery lists are a must because if I'm sent out into the world with enough money for 2 weeks worth of groceries and no list, I am bound to come home with only magic beans...

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

Lists are great. Everyone in the world should write lists.

Also, you're going to be thirty? I had no idea!

[spikey-kris.livejournal.com]

yes, 30. I keep trying to say in in hopes that by the time it happens it will be less painful and more believable, yet I still feel like I'm in a state of Arrested Development (Hey! That's the name of the show!)

Ooooh, one thing that makes me REALLY feel like a real live grown=up is making meals for the week and freezing them for later, like casseroles and stuff. Whenever I do that get an overwhelming sense of "GODDAMN, LOOK AT ME! I AM ADULT! I JUST DID SOMETHING HAT SOCCER MOMS DO WHEN THEY HAVE BUSY SCHEDULES!"

[shitgun.livejournal.com]

man drinking wine makes me feel like an adult

also realizing i spent an entire day doing shit i needed to do but didn't do any of the things i thought i was going to do

can i request a wine post? I LIKE WINE AND I NEED HALP

[private----ryan.livejournal.com]

As it is written, so shall it be done. We drink a lot of wine.

[shitgun.livejournal.com]

fuck yes \o/
also lol keep in mind i consider boone's also to be wine because idgaf about being classy that shit is tasty

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

SINCE WHEN DO YOU DRINK WINE MISSY.

Also WHAT KIND OF WINE POST DO YOU ~REQUIRE

[shitgun.livejournal.com]

i started drinking over the summer
actually i think the first thing i drank was wine but it was awful?
so i've been trying various kinds since then and i really don't have a red/white preference, i find it tends to depend on my mood
i just like knowing what other people find tasty because man when you walk into the liquor store, there is so much wine
(however, the cupcake white is delicious and has an aftertaste of cupcakes? yum is really something i look for in wine. also the fourskins red is wonderful. and fun to talk about. just like fyi i guess)

[private----ryan.livejournal.com]

Man, eff Joan Holloway. I said it before and I will continue to say it forever, eff Joan Holloway.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

She is not an individual you should want to be! No one on Mad Men is, really. Except Pete. HELL'S BELLS, TRUDY.

[private----ryan.livejournal.com]

CHARLESTON THIS, BITCH.

[wavesandmoon.livejournal.com]

1. I have a mortgage. I own a house. This is the big one for me. I still can't believe it sometimes.
2. Actually filling out government paperwork properly and getting money or important documents back. I am terrible at this, so whenever I actually get up the will to do it and do it right, I'm all FUCK YEAH SUCCESSFUL ADULTHOOD.
3. This is a silly one, but: pumping my own gas. See, I know grown-ass women who've never done it. And the first time I needed gas, I was alone, and I realized that no one had ever shown me how to do it. And I panicked for about three seconds, and then I thought "wait, how hard can this really be?". So I got out of the car, and I did it, and it's the simplest, most intuitive thing in the world. And now every time I do it, I think "why are there grown-ass women who've never done this?", but it makes me feel like an adult anyway.
4. Doing simple home repairs on my own. I have tools, and to some extent I know how to use them!
5. Buying things for Britt to use when she stays over (pajamas, a toaster, bread, a robe, Advil, allergy pills). It makes me feel like this is a real, adult relationship. Also like I might actually be good at real, adult relationships. I was always well-meaning before, but I think I was still kinda crap. Plus all my previous relationships were long-distance and involved staying in dorm rooms at the Coast Guard College. Not the most adult way to live.

And yeah, keeping up with the news and getting things tailored. Both awesome. I technically have to keep up with the news for my work, but I like it.

There are people who are super into Britta? WHY? What on earth do they like about Britta? She really is the worst. Well, Pierce is the worst. But after that, it's Britta. If I relate to anyone on Community, it's Annie (though Abed's my favourite and I love his interactions with Troy).

[private----ryan.livejournal.com]

BUT DO YOU AGREE THAT JOAN HOLLOWAY IS EFFED.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

EVERYONE AGREES WITH THIS

[wavesandmoon.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen any of Mad Men after Season 2! She wasn't that effed in the first two seasons. Although she was catty & had no qualms about sleeping with a married man, so yeah, not a great role model or anything.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

The fact that you own a house continues to be so fucking bizarre to me. A whole house! With rooms! And maybe a garage or something! Crazy.

I learned how to pump gas last summer while driving with Perin. I felt so grownup. :D

Needs more details re: your adult relationship! (Not sexy details, mushy couple details. I really like those.)

There are people who are super into Britta and they are generally derpy as hell. What is there to like about her? I really don't get it. I think I would honestly prefer Pierce to Britta because at least Pierce doesn't pretend to be on my side, you know?

[wavesandmoon.livejournal.com]

Right?! It is bizarre.

What kind of details do you want? The "she makes me want to do ridiculous soppy couple things like write out a long list of the things I love about her so she'll have it in writing" kind? Or maybe the "we've already determined that we're getting married someday" kind? (She gets to propose. Each of us always expected to be the one to do it, but she wants to do it in public with puppets and I think that's hilarious, so I conceded.)

[uncommon-crow.livejournal.com]

My clothing lives (very neatly) in a closet I built myself for almost no money.

I, too, wash up after meals (well, mostly). Clean kitchens are really good for my mental health, apparently.

Working out makes me feel like an adult *and* like a kid, but I will expand on this later because I'm on my way out for a bit.

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

I really need to start working out. It seems all grownup and rewarding and shit.

[crazykawaii.livejournal.com]

Things that have made me feel like an adult in the past 24 hours:

1) Two of my friends (yet another two of my friends) got engaged!

2) Two of my friends got pregnant! (Technically, one is pregnanting, the other is husbanding, but, you know. Co-parenting.)

3) Realizing that I am planning to move to a city 500 miles away because of a relationship, and that there is actually nothing crazy or stupid about this decision (I am applying for jobs already holy crap!)

Relationship decisions that aren't completely stupid and no one is going to regret later. Who would've thought!

[ishyface.livejournal.com]

YOU HAVE A LADYFRIEND

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LADYFRIENDDDDD