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Apr. 12th, 2005 07:48 pmMorning...
Me, upon waking: Bugger. I really don't want to get up. Niiiice bed. Waaaarm blankets. Soooooooft pillows...
My... uh, conscience or something: YOU CAN'T MISS ENGLISH- YOU'RE GONNA FINISH WATCHING I HEART HUCKABEES TODAY! AND YOU HAVE TO FINISH THAT ART ASSIGNMENT! AND MATH CLASS! WHAT IF YOU MISS A MATH CLASS JOKE??? AND-
Me: O-fuckin'KAY. I get it.
English class...
Jason Schartzman: I'm just a big fluffy puppy withbad teeth stubble! Existential crisis liek whoa.
Mark Wahlburg: I can actually act!
Lilly Tomlin: I rule!
Dustin Hoffman: So do I.
Jude Law: Isn't it eerie how closely I resemble Tom Hanks?
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
Art class...
People sitting in front of me: Cocksuckers!
Me, thinking: Die. Just dieeee.
People sitting in front of me: Fudgepackers!
Me, thinking: Seriously, dudes, shut the fuck up.
People sitting in front of me: Faggots! Faggots! Give us an F-A-double-G-O-T-S! What does that spell? FAAAAAGS!
Me, thinking (and erasing the fuck out of my Art assignment): Oh, if only I could kick the ENTIRE UNIVERSE in the balls...
Histoire Canadienne...
Random girl: Let's draw stick figures instead of working! Won't that be fun?
Me: FABULOUS, darling. STICK figures. MARVELOUS idea, that. Simply WUNDERBAR. Stick figures. Yes. QUITE.
Random girl: Uh... are you okay? Your voice sounds kind of funny.
Me, grinning a bit manically: OH DOES IT NOW.
By the lockers...
Me, grumbling: Fucking stupid people and fucking messy locker and fucking GODDAMN COUPLES MAKING OUT IN MY OWN GODDAMN PERSONAL SPACE whine angst moan shill.
Person I adore: Hey, I haven't spoken to you in a while! I think I shall do so completely out of the blue, and thus throw you off balance and into a state of elated disbelief!
Me:asklhjkgphdfstp Watch me completely keep my composure! Hey, how are you, nice coat, you are gorgeous, may I take you home and keep you?
Person I adore: Er... I like the comics on your door, there!
Me, suddenly striking a dramatic pose: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Person-I-adore is the sun! The UNBELIEVABLY HOT SUN.*
Person I adore: I'll ignore that. I'm glad we had this brief, superficial,yet ultimately intimate and revealing pleasant conversation. See you around!
Me: See you!
Math class...
Me, a bit intoxicated with Cloud Nine Vertigo: I love today! Look at the clouds in the sky, the snow on the branches, the skid marks in the parking lot! Look at the way my compass gleams in the sunlight! Look at the beautiful circle on the fresh white page! I love the world. Isn't the world pretty today?
And that was MY day.
* I'd like to assure everyone that I did not really quote Romeo and Juliet. That would be silly. Plus** it didn't occur to me.
** OBSERVE, CAIT. I CHOOSE BETWEEN THE GLORIOUS "PLUS" AND THE MAGNIFICENT "ALSO." THE ALSO HAS SINCE TAKEN UP A DECADENT LIFE OF PROSTITUTION AND HEROIN ABUSE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
Me, upon waking: Bugger. I really don't want to get up. Niiiice bed. Waaaarm blankets. Soooooooft pillows...
My... uh, conscience or something: YOU CAN'T MISS ENGLISH- YOU'RE GONNA FINISH WATCHING I HEART HUCKABEES TODAY! AND YOU HAVE TO FINISH THAT ART ASSIGNMENT! AND MATH CLASS! WHAT IF YOU MISS A MATH CLASS JOKE??? AND-
Me: O-fuckin'KAY. I get it.
English class...
Jason Schartzman: I'm just a big fluffy puppy with
Mark Wahlburg: I can actually act!
Lilly Tomlin: I rule!
Dustin Hoffman: So do I.
Jude Law: Isn't it eerie how closely I resemble Tom Hanks?
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
Art class...
People sitting in front of me: Cocksuckers!
Me, thinking: Die. Just dieeee.
People sitting in front of me: Fudgepackers!
Me, thinking: Seriously, dudes, shut the fuck up.
People sitting in front of me: Faggots! Faggots! Give us an F-A-double-G-O-T-S! What does that spell? FAAAAAGS!
Me, thinking (and erasing the fuck out of my Art assignment): Oh, if only I could kick the ENTIRE UNIVERSE in the balls...
Histoire Canadienne...
Random girl: Let's draw stick figures instead of working! Won't that be fun?
Me: FABULOUS, darling. STICK figures. MARVELOUS idea, that. Simply WUNDERBAR. Stick figures. Yes. QUITE.
Random girl: Uh... are you okay? Your voice sounds kind of funny.
Me, grinning a bit manically: OH DOES IT NOW.
By the lockers...
Me, grumbling: Fucking stupid people and fucking messy locker and fucking GODDAMN COUPLES MAKING OUT IN MY OWN GODDAMN PERSONAL SPACE whine angst moan shill.
Person I adore: Hey, I haven't spoken to you in a while! I think I shall do so completely out of the blue, and thus throw you off balance and into a state of elated disbelief!
Me:
Person I adore: Er... I like the comics on your door, there!
Me, suddenly striking a dramatic pose: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Person-I-adore is the sun! The UNBELIEVABLY HOT SUN.*
Person I adore: I'll ignore that. I'm glad we had this brief, superficial,
Me: See you!
Math class...
Me, a bit intoxicated with Cloud Nine Vertigo: I love today! Look at the clouds in the sky, the snow on the branches, the skid marks in the parking lot! Look at the way my compass gleams in the sunlight! Look at the beautiful circle on the fresh white page! I love the world. Isn't the world pretty today?
And that was MY day.
* I'd like to assure everyone that I did not really quote Romeo and Juliet. That would be silly. Plus** it didn't occur to me.
** OBSERVE, CAIT. I CHOOSE BETWEEN THE GLORIOUS "PLUS" AND THE MAGNIFICENT "ALSO." THE ALSO HAS SINCE TAKEN UP A DECADENT LIFE OF PROSTITUTION AND HEROIN ABUSE. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.