welcome to downtown coolsville

THE RULES
1. I have picked 10 celebs that I find attractive;
2. Every day(ish), I will make a poll and you'll have to vote for the celeb you find the least attractive;
3. After 24 hours, the poll will be closed and the man/woman with the most votes will be disqualified. There will then be a new poll with the remaining contestants;
4. After ten days, there will be one winner! :D

Despite her strangled-mountain-ox levels of hot, Olivia Wilde is now out of the running.

( Three. )

Things I did today: listened to a coworker ramble on about aliens and conspiracy theories, ate Boston cream pie, watched Matilda, wondered what the hell Mara Wilson is up to now, played Scrabble (AND LOST. TWICE. MY SAINTED AUNT I HAVE BRUISED MY PRIDE), sang "El Scorcho" at maximum volume, scoured YouTube for videos of pugs.

I was poking around the Internets recently, like you do, and discovered (MUCH TO MY DISMAY) that nobody seems to have written a Jessicka Addams primer yet!

This is not okay. Therefore, I give you:

Say Hello To My Little Friend: A Jessicka Addams Primer



( Read more... )

20 Websites From Before The Internet Was Invented. #9 is my favourite. Oh, Oliver Cromwell, you were such a dick.

Lyn-Z and that nerd she married. ♥

(Also, Ellen DeGeneres and that nerd she married. ♥♥♥♥♥)

Man Called Zombie While Ordering Food, Punched Twice. There will never be a greater headline than that. Ever. Read it over a few times and savour its AWESOME.

'Skirt boys' make waves in wild world of Tokyo street fashion. I was going to make an anime joke here but then I decided it'd be a little too obvious.

The Kindest Cut: In Colorado, a surgeon helps restore feeling—and so much more—to victims of female genital mutilation. This whole article made me tear up a little. Especially this bit:

A California nurse, Ngozi, who was circumcised as a newborn in Nigeria and also had her labia entirely cut away, came to Bowers in August. She is already feeling results, she tells NEWSWEEK. "Before, I would look at my textbook and look at myself and they were two different things. I wasn't even human." Bowers performed not only the clitoral operation but also plastic surgery to create labia for Ngozi, 34. "Now when I look at myself I feel like a woman," says Ngozi, who says she has even experienced orgasms for the first time in her life. "It's beautiful, I just love it, it feels like you're melting. Before it irritated me when my husband tried to touch me, now I reach out to him."

♥______________; GUYSSSSSSSSSS

( Going to school in boymode. )

This video about how science is magic.

The world is just awesome. <3

In unrelated news, since it seems I will be in university for a good long while yet (this is because I transferred and dropped a class and also God hates me), I am considering getting a certificate in Library Science as well as a diploma in Creative Writing. That way I will nourish both my lifelong dream of being a ~writer and my need to eventually support myself and any cats I may choose to adopt. Good idea, y/n/you're going to be in school until you die, aren't you?

(This entry is public because Little Brother went through all my old posts and told me in no uncertain terms to stop locking things so he can read my wordmeats again. If he is reading this right now, I would like to point out that this would not be a problem if he got his own damn LJ. Plus then the Internets would know he is real and that I did not make him up. GET ON THAT, LITTLE BROTHER.)

I don't much like making small talk. I do like to read. These two facts in combination mean that I bring books to work to read on my lunch break. This would not be a problem were it not for the fact that many of the people I work with are who Bill Hicks was talking about here and therefore totally mystified by the fact that I, like, read books. For fun! Books with long words! Books without pictures! Books that don't even have a shirtless Edward Cullen in there to make up for all that strenuous mental activity! How weird, right?

Often if you tell a meat eater that you are a vegetarian he or she will bounce back with some variation on the theme of "YEAH WELL I LOVE ME SOME DEAD COW MMM STEAK." Similarly, I find that when people find out how much I read- three or so books a week, give or take- someone usually ends up declaring that they don't read. Ever. That is not in and of itself a crime. Some people don't enjoy reading! It happens! I don't understand it,* but I... kind of accept it. What I don't accept is the way these someones say it, which is proudly. "Fuck yeah, man, I haven't read a book since fourth grade! I don't even know if I CAN read anymore! I AM AWESOME, AS IS ILLITERACY."

What the hell is wrong with these people?

You know what? If you don't read books, and you are PROUD of the fact that you don't read books, I am going to think you are stupid. That's it. Moreover, I am going to think you are a fucking ALIEN and probably won't ever be able to understand how you work or think or can stand to get up in the morning. That is not hyperbole. That is how fucking bizarre the concept of not reading (and not WANTING to read) is for me. If you don't read books you're from fucking Mars and I have no fucking clue how to talk to you. That's not me being a neurotic bookworm, either. (Well, it is a little, but not as much as you'd think.) It's because while I have very few definite thoughts on the meaning of life, the universe, and so on, one of my most definite thoughts is that stories are important. Stories are more important than almost anything, because without them life would make no fucking sense. Without stories the world would just be... things. Stuff that happens. They're as much a vital part of life as food and water. We need them to fucking live.

Not reading is not something to be goddamn proud of. Aside from its many benefits- exercises the right side of the brain, helps develop and increase the vocabulary, promotes empathy by encouraging identification outside the self, relieves stress, gives you a better chance of not ending up a junior stockboy at a third-rate grocery store forever, et cetera- what isn't there to fucking love about reading? Reading is good! Reading is fun! Didn't you watch Sesame Street as a kid? They taught this shit there, and they had dancing letters and everything. AND they showed you how to count to ten in Spanish. Now go sit down, try to remember the goddamn alphabet, and stop interrupting me while I'm reading so you can talk about your fucking girlfriend's eczema.**

( While we're on the subject of books, here are some I've read lately. )

I made myself a new summer mix the other day, and I feel like uploading it even though it is pretty unfashionable. ( I call it Love and Television. )

Post ten of any pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive. NO CAPTIONS! It must be like we're speaking with images and we have to interpret your visual language just like we have to interpret your words. They must ALREADY be on your hard drive - no googling or flickr! They have to have been saved to your folders sometime in the past. They must be something you've saved there because it resonated with you for some reason. You do NOT have to answer any questions about any of your pictures if you don't want to. You can make them as mysterious as you like. Or you can explain them away as much as you like.

( Mysterious is the way to go. )

As promised, ENORMOUS GIRLSPAM FULL OF GIRLS.

( Mostly girls in/related somehow to bands. )

Part Two!

Hello, LiveJournal! Today I am going to talk about two of my favourite people (who just so happen to be married to each other), because they make me really happy and I'm feeling a little bummed.



The two people in question? Jimmy Urine and Chantal Claret.

( In which we fly into squeebit. )

Good morning, Staaaaaaarshine~

How sad is it that I actually consider getting up at eleven to be an accomplishment? Mmm, SLEEP. *gnaws on pillow*

( Since it's so early and all and I'm obviously too sleepy for actual content, here are some pictures of my cats. )

My little sister is watching that awful Girlicious show and all I can think is that Gerard Way needs to teach these girls about feminism. Also, how to dance.

When I was little I didn't think about being beautiful. I think a lot of kids just let that stuff go by- not so much anymore, maybe. I know when my little sister was eight years old she already hated her body enough that every day she'd run up and down the stairs to try and lose weight. But I didn't. I hoped, vaguely, that I was "pretty," although I didn't know exactly what the word meant, and sometimes my mother told me I was, and I'd smile and go back to watching cartoons and reading The Phantom Tollbooth.

( Things changed, of course. )