![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The Field Guide To North American Hipsters, Vol. I
Identification: To refer to emo as an entire subculture centered on being vain, melodramatic, pathetic, self-absorbed, and emotionally histrionic would be unfair. There's more to it than that. There's also all the terrible music, stupid haircuts, and fantastically complex MySpace profiles. While we can all conjure up a mental image of a stereotypical Emo kid, with a tight sweater, hair dyed black, tiny jeans, and converse with "deep" lyrics Sharpied on, it can be difficult these days to tell emo kids from any other scenester morons. Asking vanilla hipsters and emo kids to list their favorite bands would net similar results: a list of bands you've never heard of. However, an emo kid's band list would contain telltale patterns. First of all, watch out for bands with melodramatic, complete-sentence names, like "I Die in Agony" or "His Heart is Sour." Secondly, the list of bands will quickly transmogrify into a diatribe about how the emo kid doesn't really want to be there because he or she is feeling very depressed over a girl/boy and Hawthorne Heights really helped him or her out during tough times and maybe you'd like to go back to his/her place and see his/her zines and maybe make out a little bit, no big deal. The great thing about emo kids is that they're both promiscuous and emotionally crippled (except for the weird Christian ones).
...
How to Tame an Emo Kid: Leave them flattering comments on MySpace. Listen to their problems. Be a member of the opposite sex and reject them (they love unrequited love more than most people love sex, so they'll hang around you for-ev-er).
It- it's like looking into a mirror.
Identification: To refer to emo as an entire subculture centered on being vain, melodramatic, pathetic, self-absorbed, and emotionally histrionic would be unfair. There's more to it than that. There's also all the terrible music, stupid haircuts, and fantastically complex MySpace profiles. While we can all conjure up a mental image of a stereotypical Emo kid, with a tight sweater, hair dyed black, tiny jeans, and converse with "deep" lyrics Sharpied on, it can be difficult these days to tell emo kids from any other scenester morons. Asking vanilla hipsters and emo kids to list their favorite bands would net similar results: a list of bands you've never heard of. However, an emo kid's band list would contain telltale patterns. First of all, watch out for bands with melodramatic, complete-sentence names, like "I Die in Agony" or "His Heart is Sour." Secondly, the list of bands will quickly transmogrify into a diatribe about how the emo kid doesn't really want to be there because he or she is feeling very depressed over a girl/boy and Hawthorne Heights really helped him or her out during tough times and maybe you'd like to go back to his/her place and see his/her zines and maybe make out a little bit, no big deal. The great thing about emo kids is that they're both promiscuous and emotionally crippled (except for the weird Christian ones).
...
How to Tame an Emo Kid: Leave them flattering comments on MySpace. Listen to their problems. Be a member of the opposite sex and reject them (they love unrequited love more than most people love sex, so they'll hang around you for-ev-er).
It- it's like looking into a mirror.