For years I rejected the notion of marriage as being for me. To me, seeing a lot of man/woman heterosexual marriages, I just saw how both parties could become trapped in social expectations of their gender. I thought: no fucking way.
But then sorting out my gender has made me feel really different about a lot of things. Mostly that I want to settle down with some other dude and raise kids. Not saying we won't escape some of the expectations laid upon us by our culture, nor saying it will be easy. But just saying realizing I wasn't a woman freed me to consider the option and realize, yeah, it was for me. Just not for me as a woman, I guess.
I have a lot of issues with heterocentrism right now. I am not sure what it is, except maybe I am expelling all those years of enforced heterocentrism in relationships, and the expectations laid upon me. Or the expectations I felt men imposed on me. And the expectations I took on that maybe weren't even part of the equation in the first place.
I just see some straight relationships and I think: how the hell can they be happy? They seem more at odds and borderline hateful rather than engaged in a real relationship. I am sure gay people can get in these relationships, but I've not yet seen the kind of friction and animosity that exists in same-gender couples as I have in some straight couples.
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on 2008-11-24 06:17 pm (UTC)For years I rejected the notion of marriage as being for me. To me, seeing a lot of man/woman heterosexual marriages, I just saw how both parties could become trapped in social expectations of their gender. I thought: no fucking way.
But then sorting out my gender has made me feel really different about a lot of things. Mostly that I want to settle down with some other dude and raise kids. Not saying we won't escape some of the expectations laid upon us by our culture, nor saying it will be easy. But just saying realizing I wasn't a woman freed me to consider the option and realize, yeah, it was for me. Just not for me as a woman, I guess.
I have a lot of issues with heterocentrism right now. I am not sure what it is, except maybe I am expelling all those years of enforced heterocentrism in relationships, and the expectations laid upon me. Or the expectations I felt men imposed on me. And the expectations I took on that maybe weren't even part of the equation in the first place.
I just see some straight relationships and I think: how the hell can they be happy? They seem more at odds and borderline hateful rather than engaged in a real relationship. I am sure gay people can get in these relationships, but I've not yet seen the kind of friction and animosity that exists in same-gender couples as I have in some straight couples.
/tangenty