My Future

When I graduate from university- well, make that if- I am going to go to London.
Not just London either. Those parts of London that don't actually exist except in gritty art films. The parts with garrets and starving artists and a constant haze of cigarette smoke, the parts where small groups of people with intense eyes and voices discuss art and philosophy in clubs and no one has a Cockney accent. I shall move there and become very pale due to lack of exposure and have several torrid, problematic love affairs and strive all the time to reach The Truth (capitals necessary).
I will be a poet, or a novelist, or maybe I'll try my hand at painting or maybe I'll dress in drag and start a band and sing backup vocals. My flat shall be somewhere suitably gloomy, probably overlooking a harbour constantly shrouded in fog, and will be cluttered and messy. I will probably get wasted beyond belief one fine night and wake up next to someone who's either about a century older than me- in which case I will blackmail them for money- or my soulmate but too naive and sheltered to understand me in all my tortured artistry.
I shall probably get an STD or two- nothing too tragic, let's hope, because that's a bit too Philadelphia for me. I'll write my artistic masterpiece either during a bout of insanity or while half-asleep. I'll dress in black and teach small children on street corners all about the Meaning of Life. I'll listen to music and dance until I remember that I'm supposed to be a tortured artist.
I may keep cats.
I will not stop eating pizza, because that would be self-betrayal.
I will not smoke cigarettes, because I'd like to keep my teeth clean.
I will probably disgrace my friends by singing drunken karaoke and going public about my licorice addiction.
I will lead a whirlwind, tempestuous life, and people will love me and hate me and all that's in between, and I will do the same. I will live by my writings and eventually publish books and be everything that no one wants me to be except for me.
Then I will be found in one of those obscure London garrets, slowly stiffening. Dead from- well, I'm not sure whether it should be pneumonia, cancer or a hate crime, which would be most tragic?
Actually, let's change the ending.
I'll be happy, because I'm me and no one else. People will remember my name for what I've done and what I've been. I'll live my life and end it well.
I like that ending better, even if it wouldn't make headlines.

All of this is absolute bollocks, of course.

~Jehane

"Thought I was getting carat gold and what I got was you." - Brian Molko, 36 Degrees

Googlisms!

jehane is a famous kindath doctor
jehane is torn between her desire for sir daffyd and the need to either return to the future [... or give in to her craving for WORLD DOMINATION!]
jehane is no frilly fainting female [Why no, no I'm not.]
jehane is a powerful individual from whom all power is eventually stripped by the dominant culture [Er. Thanks?]
jehane is competent
jehane is my friend [Who are you again?]
jehane is going to have to be sent to "filmmakers aa
jehane is a kindath physician who must flee her city at night to help a friend
jehane is a kindath
jehane is mine and dimira marka's
jehane is mine and dimira's
jehane is faced with the [Cheese.]
jehane is the dream of every self [... Are you coming on to me?]
jehane is the old french form of the modern feminine name jeanne
jehane is gonna be really ticked off when she sees a spankin' new ducati monoposta [What? Where?!]
jehane is lost to me [Don't feel too bad, I'm lost to everybody. Where am I?]

eru is the tactical commander [Of what?]
eru is one of nine uk
eru is to advise on the selection and assessment of forecast techniques and to analyse the likely impact of various control strategies through use [Er. Yes.]
eru is also called moon blindness because historically its recurrence was thought to be related with the phases of the moon
eru is rounded up to 40 eru; [Whee! I have a posse now!]
eru is equal to 2543 square feet and represents the average impervious surface area found on a single family residence [... Are you saying I'm fat?!]
eru is the 'true' name of the supreme being [Obviously.]
eru is an over
eru is immune [To iocaine powder.]
eru is not the same as a boot disk [Well, it's a good thing someone pointed this out, I have such a hard time telling us apart.]
eru is usually treated with tropical corticosteroids
eru is equal to 900 cubic feet of metered water usage per month
eru is a self [Yes she is.]
eru is often not identifiable when the horse is examined [I resent that and all of its implications.]
eru is a non
eru is made up of four modules
eru is a mobile water treatment unit which treats water to high quality standards required by hospitals and feeding centres
eru is ranked by us news & world report as one of the top 20 undergraduate engineering programs in our nation
eru is the specialist firearms unit of an garda siochana
eru is responsible handling high risk situations [Oh, I'm responsible all right. Responsible like a fish!]
eru is to become an important repository of electoral information for the irish republic [Ireland!]
eru is pou herenga
eru is an immune [Only to iocaine.]
eru is a emergency room in a forty
eru is updated by the vendor roughly once a month
eru is a unit of measure which serves as an index to compare the runoff generated by different size properties with different amounts of impervious surface
eru is the amount an average household of 2
eru is made by microsoft called emergeny recovery utility
eru is not foolproof [Yes I am!]
eru is subsequently used to recover metals from the concentrate stream produced by the aro
eru is funded by a variety of sources including the engineering and physical sciences research council
eru is $2 [Hey, I'm not THAT cheap. Up it by... hm... 75 cents.]
eru is on the win 95 cd hidden away under misc/other
eru is used when [... people need me to clean the toilet.]
eru is the icelandic copula of the third person plural
eru is $5 [*Grins.* NOW we're talkin'.]
eru is a multi
eru is plumbed to a stagnant rinse tank
eru is in private ownership [This ties in with the $2, $5 thing, yes?]
eru is connected to because
eru is connected to the following things
eru is inherent in
eru is a plenary session held every other year in a rural location [The things you learn about yourself...]
eru is really pleased about this new initiative as it is yet another under the equal opportunities funding
eru is the average size residential lot and it's corresponding runoff coefficient
eru is not present on the windows 98 cd
eru is a quick and easy program to back up your entire registry and will
eru is also being used to enhance our new attorney training program [Hee. "Listen up, idiots. By the end of the year you'd better know how to sue someone or I'll kick you in the nadgers, right?"]
eru is located in the ethylene oxide plant at the point comfort
eru is scheduled for delivery in the fourth quarter of this year [Oh my. Someone's going to mail me?]
eru is really only applicable to those diehards still running windows 95
eru is also installed in the channel bank
eru is set at a flat rate of $4 [FUCK! Down a dollar!]
eru is composed of the basic health care
eru is available from the ms knowledge base article id
eru is used by the human resource manager to notify the necessary departments of the various tasks required
eru is an emergence response unit
eru is described by two object identifier
eru is win95’s emergency recovery utility
eru is prohibited [I'm dangerous for your health, baby.]
eru is $0 [O.O Nooooo!]
eru is seen to be the fate of all things and that is why
eru is presently accredited to perform warranty repairs for
eru is de toonaangevende smeltkaasfabrikant in nederland en hongarije [I refuse to believe that those are actual words in any language.]
eru is vital to the inquiry [Witness protection program, anyone?]
eru is established to be equal to a flow of 350 gallons per day [What nasty imagery that conjures up.]
eru is $3 [Oh, well, that's better.]
eru is responsible for handling a multitude of situations including [... that one with all the fish.]
eru is equal to 7
eru is a compact
eru is activated
eru is quicker to write [Oh, this one I like.]
eru is a very useful utility for those of us who continually mess things up [Because I mess things up more and thus make everyone else feel less inferior.]
eru is committed to the completion of a mission that is assigned by the field/patrol commander
eru is $6 [Woo-hoo!]

ellen is getting a mac
ellen is back [Tell your friends...]
ellen is crazy [In a word... MONKEY!]
ellen is véd
ellen is still gay [Grr, baby. Just grr.]
ellen is so amazing on stage
ellen is offering to make traditional pattern quilts for you [No Ellen most certainly isn't!]
ellen is lementek alfába
ellen is
ellen is an autodesk registered author best known for autocad
ellen is wonderful [Thank you.]
ellen is gay
ellen is single [Very true.]
ellen is back friday november 16
ellen is out
ellen is az új trójai program azonnal bekerül az f [See note above about not believing words are real.]
ellen is the ultimate paradox
ellen is the number one pick in entertainment weekly's top entertainers of 97 [They had entertainers back then?]
ellen is the public contact point for the crpc director
ellen is a licensed broker associate with re/max greater atlanta
ellen is back in ellen again and the uk's channel 4 airs metrosexuality in which there is explicit oral sex between two women [Erm...]
ellen is winning [What? I'm winning something? What'm I winning? Tellmetellmetellme!]
ellen is excruciatingly shy
ellen is the chairperson for the louisville easter egg extravaganza [I'm afraid.]
ellen is an if
ellen is out of the closet [And sitting at a computer, no less.]
ellen is also one of the ferry terminals on the island [Better than being a chairperson for an easter egg extravaganza, I guess...]
ellen is special to the people of little rock because she has been at our zoo since 1954 [ -_- ]
ellen is richly brunette
ellen is also active in promoting appreciation of
ellen is offering to make traditional pattern quilts for you in your choice of colors and pattern [Still not doing that.]
ellen is lementek alfába megint akkor lendült játékba az nykk
ellen is a child whose courage and humor win her a place [... in a pot. Mmm.]
ellen is without the support and careof an immediate family
ellen is 1 mile down on your left [Now, this implies that there's a town called Ellen and that's just wrong.]
ellen is the director of training for a large multi
ellen is also available to teach private and semi [< Insert witty comments about private lessons here. >]
ellen is the host
ellen is located in sonoma county in northern california
ellen is off the market by don chareunsy [I guess people just weren't willing to back six dollars for me. Sigh.]
ellen is the mother of two adult children
ellen is out there making the $$$$ to pay the bills [I wish.]
ellen is asked to be in a vanity fair "where are they now?" article chronicling demised dot
ellen is a member of the aloha quilters of kona and of the kailua village artists gallery
ellen is a 34
ellen is a coaching partner and the vice president of coaching for lbf intercoach
ellen is her girlfriend [Nope, not to my knowledge. But I would like a toupee.]
ellen is embarrassed by him [So I am, the silly bint.]
ellen is also active in counseling clients on employment
ellen is inspired by the distinction between "being" and "doing
ellen is the founder of midlifementor
ellen is now fighting to ensure that national security doesn't get narrowly defined by each incident
ellen is an autodesk registered author best known for autocad 2000 for dummies quick reference and autocad 2000 bible
ellen is there [Quite the contrary. Ellen is here.]
ellen is the director for the academic support unit in the office of information technology
ellen is approximately 1
ellen is also well known as a prolific writer [Another one I like. Whee!]
ellen is responsible for have won dozens of national and international awards
ellen is an artist member of the national league of american pen women
ellen is real [No I'm not! How dare you insult me!]
ellen is sent to live with her grief
ellen is the end product [Of procreation, yes.]
ellen is in good spirits as the foncia kingfisher makes up significant ground to trail the mondial's leaders by 12 miles
ellen is definitely not new to northwestern
ellen is the busy port town on the south of the island [You know what I said before about the fact that there's a town called Ellen being wrong? It applies here.]
ellen is becca's mean older sister [...]
ellen is running
ellen is a living example of that
ellen is being questioned in connection with the death of her mother [I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. THE GEESE ARE LYING!]
ellen is the quiet child [Well....hyeah.]
ellen is the founder of ellen kane & associates
ellen is quite funny [Have you heard the one about the duck and the cellotape, then?]
ellen is so popular [*Snickers.*]
ellen is the author of two books
ellen is zo lief om de spullen naar boven te slepen
ellen is the current treasurer and past president of the massachusetts association of oriental medicine
ellen is an active member of the national alliance for the mentally ill [So we are.]
ellen is shown in both the united states and australia with series 3 exclusivley aired down under
ellen is too gay [No such thing, love. ^_~]
ellen is the star of 'the amber heart' at the lyceum
ellen is currently pursuing an undergraduate degree at ou's college of liberal studies
ellen is a "command line" environment
ellen is hot [Actually, she's cold, as she's wearing a sleeveless shirt and it's chilly outside.]
ellen is very current on teen [On what?]
ellen is just a short drive to sonoma [Damned towns named after me...]
ellen is an unincorporated area in the northern half of the sonoma valley
ellen is all about [... pie.}
ellen is aware of at least 527 such incidents
ellen is in highschool and that seems completely
ellen is a nutrition coach working with clients in the boston area as well as around the country

Cliffnotes...
- I am going to see Finding Nemo today. Should be fun, as long as They don't mess it up for me.
- Am done science. Go me!
- Am also done interview thing for English. Go me more!
- Am not, however, done math or even sure of how to do it. Fuck!
- I'm hungry.

That's it.

~Jehane

"Exist quietly, some of us are trying to sleep." - Eru