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I'm still kind of Catholic. Sometimes.
Feb. 8th, 2005 06:57 pmDumbass English Teacher: So... anyone wanna read this next short story out loud?
Class: *is silent*
Dumbass English Teacher: Anyone? Anyone?
Me, wryly: Bueller?
Dumbass English Teacher, with furrowed brow: What?
Me, hoping he gets it- he's supposed to be a movie buff, after all: You said "anyone, anyone." I said "Bueller."
Dumbass English Teacher: ... I don't get it.
Ian, grinning: I get it. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, huh?
Dumbass English Teacher, suddenly excited: Ferris? Woah! That's, like, my favourite movie!
Me: ... And you still don't get it?
Dumbass English Teacher, blinking like a startled kitten: No.
Other student: ... Wait, I thought Run Lola Run was your favourite movie.
Beat of silence.
Dumbass English Teacher: Uh. I have a lot of favourite movies.
Iiiiit's Shrove Tuesday, the last day before Lent- also known as PANCAKE DAY! Woo!
And we made bacon. And sausage rounds. And lo, it was good. Mmm yes.
Anyway. It occurred to me today that I haven't given anything up for Lent yet this year. So, because I'm still secretly afraid that not being self-sacrificing and martyrlike will make Baby Jesus cry, here we go!
Things I'm Giving Up For Lent
- Eating glass. I'll have to find something else to quell those midnight cravings.
- Xanadu. I gave this up last year too. It's a good thing to give up. Olivia Newton-John is sinful in the eyes of the Lord.
- Trigonometry. This will surely tax me, as that's the unit we're currently doing in math, but I'll survive somehow. It's all for Jesus, after all.
- Singing "The Star-Spangled Banner (Raperatic Techno Tiger Beat Mix)" in the shower. It was getting kind of hard to beatbox.
- Breakdancing to upbeat rockabilly tunes. Jesus prefers disco and folk.
- Pomegranates. Because OMGpaganundertonez!!!!1!
- Electric shock therapy. Didn't work for Kurt Wilde, won't work for me.
- Herds of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plain. Who the fuck likes ponies anyway?
- Marionettes. I'm not sure, never having read all of the Bible, but I'm almost certain God disapproves of marionettes. I would. If I were God, that is. Er.
- Heartwarming Christmas carols. I imagine hearing songs about your birthday in the days leading up to your death would be very depressing. It'd be like the Universe saying "Ah, remember how cool your life used to be? You know, back when people came from miles away to see you wet yourself and gurgle and before there was any of this eternal-redemption gruesome-death 700 Club nonsense."
- Making fun of the Pope. ... Wait. I might actually miss this one.
- Petty identity theft. No one ever really believed that I was Spartacus anyway.
Ah. I feel almost saintly.
Class: *is silent*
Dumbass English Teacher: Anyone? Anyone?
Me, wryly: Bueller?
Dumbass English Teacher, with furrowed brow: What?
Me, hoping he gets it- he's supposed to be a movie buff, after all: You said "anyone, anyone." I said "Bueller."
Dumbass English Teacher: ... I don't get it.
Ian, grinning: I get it. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, huh?
Dumbass English Teacher, suddenly excited: Ferris? Woah! That's, like, my favourite movie!
Me: ... And you still don't get it?
Dumbass English Teacher, blinking like a startled kitten: No.
Other student: ... Wait, I thought Run Lola Run was your favourite movie.
Beat of silence.
Dumbass English Teacher: Uh. I have a lot of favourite movies.
Iiiiit's Shrove Tuesday, the last day before Lent- also known as PANCAKE DAY! Woo!
And we made bacon. And sausage rounds. And lo, it was good. Mmm yes.
Anyway. It occurred to me today that I haven't given anything up for Lent yet this year. So, because I'm still secretly afraid that not being self-sacrificing and martyrlike will make Baby Jesus cry, here we go!
Things I'm Giving Up For Lent
- Eating glass. I'll have to find something else to quell those midnight cravings.
- Xanadu. I gave this up last year too. It's a good thing to give up. Olivia Newton-John is sinful in the eyes of the Lord.
- Trigonometry. This will surely tax me, as that's the unit we're currently doing in math, but I'll survive somehow. It's all for Jesus, after all.
- Singing "The Star-Spangled Banner (Raperatic Techno Tiger Beat Mix)" in the shower. It was getting kind of hard to beatbox.
- Breakdancing to upbeat rockabilly tunes. Jesus prefers disco and folk.
- Pomegranates. Because OMGpaganundertonez!!!!1!
- Electric shock therapy. Didn't work for Kurt Wilde, won't work for me.
- Herds of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plain. Who the fuck likes ponies anyway?
- Marionettes. I'm not sure, never having read all of the Bible, but I'm almost certain God disapproves of marionettes. I would. If I were God, that is. Er.
- Heartwarming Christmas carols. I imagine hearing songs about your birthday in the days leading up to your death would be very depressing. It'd be like the Universe saying "Ah, remember how cool your life used to be? You know, back when people came from miles away to see you wet yourself and gurgle and before there was any of this eternal-redemption gruesome-death 700 Club nonsense."
- Making fun of the Pope. ... Wait. I might actually miss this one.
- Petty identity theft. No one ever really believed that I was Spartacus anyway.
Ah. I feel almost saintly.