Kenya believe it?

I've been noticing, with some distress, that while everyone likes to complain about emo, several minor points have been muddled by osmosis, the Internets, and global warming. This is, obvious, a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, as if people do not properly understand these key points they may not be able to make fun of emo kids properly.

Luckily, I am not only a bona fide emo kid, but have received my Doctorate in Emology (with a B.A. in Whingeing On Livejournal). Thus, I come to enlighten with Five Things You've Always Wanted To Know About Emo Kids (But Were Too Weirded Out By Conor Oberst's Voice To Ask)!

( In which we mention sour cream and Pete Wentz. )

We hope that you will use this information for good.*****

* No, Brian Molko isn't emo; however, he's tiny, bisexual, and wears a lot of eyeliner, which makes him the closest thing to it.

** They have; however, this is not a bad thing.

*** This is the emo version of a Bender-style air punch.

**** We're also not sure why AFI is now considered to be an emo band (in my day they were goth), but figure that pretty much anything is better than Panic! At The Disco.

***** And by good we mean "not kick us in the teeth when we read you our crappy poetry."