Kenya believe it?
Jun. 4th, 2007 07:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ishyfaceI've been noticing, with some distress, that while everyone likes to complain about emo, several minor points have been muddled by osmosis, the Internets, and global warming. This is, obvious, a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions, as if people do not properly understand these key points they may not be able to make fun of emo kids properly.
Luckily, I am not only a bona fide emo kid, but have received my Doctorate in Emology (with a B.A. in Whingeing On Livejournal). Thus, I come to enlighten with Five Things You've Always Wanted To Know About Emo Kids (But Were Too Weirded Out By Conor Oberst's Voice To Ask)!
1. A person who is goth is "a goth." A person who is punk is "a punk." However, a person who is emo is not "an emo." This is because the plural would be "emos," which sounds like something you'd put on a fajita. (Right underneath the sour cream.) A person who is emo is an "emo kid," an "emo boy/girl," or a "crybaby."
Saying "an emo" will make you sound really, really stupid.
2. There is a difference between scene kids and emo kids. For example, scene kids tend to dye their hair black and... er... well, emo kids wear Chucks and scene kids wear... uh... well, scene kids go to lots of shows and act obnoxious and uppity about it and emo kids...
Actually, there is no difference between scene kids and emo kids. In fact, we here at the Institute of Emology are uncertain as to what a scene kid actually is, never having procured a specimen.
3. We know that we look stupid. Looking stupid is, in fact, a mark of belonging to any given subculture; it's how you look stupid that matters. Our particular brand involves a lot of skinny jeans and boys in makeup, and is there really anything so wrong with that?
Well, maybe with the skinny jeans, but not with the boys in makeup, because Girly Boys are way, way sexier than Manly Men. Observe:
Sexy!*
Not sexy!
See?
Anyway. You're welcome to helpfully point out how dumb our hair looks, but you're kind of missing the point if you do. We intend to look stupid. Trust me, people don't just roll out of bed looking this ridiculous by accident.
4. We like to talk about The Music. It's all about The Music, we say; despite the pretension, the fashion, the eyeliner, we are all brought together by the music, free to hotly debate whether or not My Chemical Romance has abandoned their scene roots** or if Rainer Maria could take out Sunny Day Real Estate in a fistfight. "It's not about the clothes!" we say, rocking back and forth with our heads hanging.*** "It's! About! The Music!"
This is codswollop. It's all about the clothes.
5. We are just as upset about Pete Wentz as you are.****
We hope that you will use this information for good.*****
* No, Brian Molko isn't emo; however, he's tiny, bisexual, and wears a lot of eyeliner, which makes him the closest thing to it.
** They have; however, this is not a bad thing.
*** This is the emo version of a Bender-style air punch.
**** We're also not sure why AFI is now considered to be an emo band (in my day they were goth), but figure that pretty much anything is better than Panic! At The Disco.
***** And by good we mean "not kick us in the teeth when we read you our crappy poetry."
Luckily, I am not only a bona fide emo kid, but have received my Doctorate in Emology (with a B.A. in Whingeing On Livejournal). Thus, I come to enlighten with Five Things You've Always Wanted To Know About Emo Kids (But Were Too Weirded Out By Conor Oberst's Voice To Ask)!
1. A person who is goth is "a goth." A person who is punk is "a punk." However, a person who is emo is not "an emo." This is because the plural would be "emos," which sounds like something you'd put on a fajita. (Right underneath the sour cream.) A person who is emo is an "emo kid," an "emo boy/girl," or a "crybaby."
Saying "an emo" will make you sound really, really stupid.
2. There is a difference between scene kids and emo kids. For example, scene kids tend to dye their hair black and... er... well, emo kids wear Chucks and scene kids wear... uh... well, scene kids go to lots of shows and act obnoxious and uppity about it and emo kids...
Actually, there is no difference between scene kids and emo kids. In fact, we here at the Institute of Emology are uncertain as to what a scene kid actually is, never having procured a specimen.
3. We know that we look stupid. Looking stupid is, in fact, a mark of belonging to any given subculture; it's how you look stupid that matters. Our particular brand involves a lot of skinny jeans and boys in makeup, and is there really anything so wrong with that?
Well, maybe with the skinny jeans, but not with the boys in makeup, because Girly Boys are way, way sexier than Manly Men. Observe:
Sexy!*
Not sexy!
See?
Anyway. You're welcome to helpfully point out how dumb our hair looks, but you're kind of missing the point if you do. We intend to look stupid. Trust me, people don't just roll out of bed looking this ridiculous by accident.
4. We like to talk about The Music. It's all about The Music, we say; despite the pretension, the fashion, the eyeliner, we are all brought together by the music, free to hotly debate whether or not My Chemical Romance has abandoned their scene roots** or if Rainer Maria could take out Sunny Day Real Estate in a fistfight. "It's not about the clothes!" we say, rocking back and forth with our heads hanging.*** "It's! About! The Music!"
This is codswollop. It's all about the clothes.
5. We are just as upset about Pete Wentz as you are.****
We hope that you will use this information for good.*****
* No, Brian Molko isn't emo; however, he's tiny, bisexual, and wears a lot of eyeliner, which makes him the closest thing to it.
** They have; however, this is not a bad thing.
*** This is the emo version of a Bender-style air punch.
**** We're also not sure why AFI is now considered to be an emo band (in my day they were goth), but figure that pretty much anything is better than Panic! At The Disco.
***** And by good we mean "not kick us in the teeth when we read you our crappy poetry."
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no subject
on 2007-06-04 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-04 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:11 pm (UTC)*is flattered*
no subject
on 2007-06-04 11:59 pm (UTC)*grin*
Disclaimer.
on 2007-06-05 12:00 am (UTC)Re: Disclaimer.
on 2007-06-06 05:11 pm (UTC)Professor of Indieology (By Which I Mean I Get Drunk and Listen to Dirty Pretty Things)
on 2007-06-05 12:46 am (UTC)I ought to print this and try to get my mom to post it in the high school library.
In fact, we here at the Institute of Emology are uncertain as to what a scene kid actually is, never having procured a specimen
I thought the scene kids were the same everywhere - that is - those clingers and hangers-on who pretend they are part of emo culture/indie culture/whatever, but are actually just little bints who showed up because they think so and so is hot or something.
Not actually part of the whole culture, but just the scene kids who fake it.
Or am I reversing it?
I dunno.
Anyways, hasn't emo culture sort of been absorbed and/or evolved into the indie/grassroots culture, especially in modern America?
(Stupid lj keeps eating my comments! Gaaah!)
Re: Professor of Indieology (By Which I Mean I Get Drunk and Listen to Dirty Pretty Things)
on 2007-06-06 05:24 pm (UTC)That's actually a very solid definition. However, the distinction doesn't really exist in the emo subculture, since we all pretty much showed up because we think so-and-so is hot or something.
Up here indie and emo kids have definitely fused together a little bit, but again, it's more about the clothes than anything. The difference between an emo kid and an indie kid in Canada is that the emo kids wear horn-rimmed glasses, listen to Stars, and weep, whereas the emo kids wear horn-rimmed glasses, listen to Hedley, and weep. (I think we share Death Cab For Cutie.)
no subject
on 2007-06-05 05:14 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-05 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:12 pm (UTC)Man, I don't even care if it's insulting, I WANT THAT SHIRT.
no subject
on 2007-06-05 12:49 pm (UTC)*procures Kait*
no subject
on 2007-06-05 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-06 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2007-06-05 03:23 pm (UTC)Yes! FTW! This is how I heartily defend spending my Saturdays covered in mud, and why I took 10 minutes each morning in high school putting on a gagillion plastic bracelets.
no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:19 pm (UTC)What subculture do the gagillion plastic bracelets belong to?
no subject
on 2007-06-07 08:45 am (UTC)The gagillion plastic bracelets belonged to what I fondly called the 'raver goth' subculture, i.e. kids who shopped at Hot Topic because we were Different and Special (or, in my case, really liked how girls in giant pants looked).
no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:17 pm (UTC)YOU HAVE FACEBOOK TOO???w00t!
no subject
on 2007-06-06 09:47 pm (UTC)Possessor of a Doctorate in Riot Grrl
on 2007-06-05 06:24 pm (UTC)But Decemberunderground made me die a little inside.
Re: Possessor of a Doctorate in Riot Grrl
on 2007-06-06 05:16 pm (UTC)Have you ever seen that episode of Video On Trial where they call Davey Havok "Tickle-Me-Emo"? It wins. (Not that I watch Video On Trial. Or anything.)
If you have a Doctorate in Riot Grrl and I have a Doctorate in Emology, does that mean that you kick my ass and I cry and write a poem about it?
no subject
on 2007-06-05 08:09 pm (UTC)took me a few seconds, but when it hit me, i loved it
your take on this is refreshing
no subject
on 2007-06-06 05:26 pm (UTC)What's your icon from, by the way? Something Seussian?
no subject
on 2007-06-06 08:00 pm (UTC)also, i used to have that same coat that bender wears, but somehow, when moving from one college to another, i lost it. i still kick myself for that.