![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Hurrah for King James: A history in a little more than ten minutes.
But, see, James is a king, so he gets whatever the fuck he wants, even when he's, like, three. He wants a cookie? THE BOY GETS A COOKIE. He wants a hundred cookies? HE GETS A HUNDRED COOKIES. He's the fucking king of Scotland, okay? He hears these stories about his parents at court, too, like "Hey James, guess what? Your dad? TOTALLY stabbed this guy over 120 times and then got blown up. And your mom? Total MILF by the way, dude. Yeah, your mom? She, like, went to England and got her head chopped off. Isn't that cool?"
...
Also, he's obsessed with demons. He's, like, some kind of expert, and he wrote a three volume book on demons. Oookay. Apparently, James will be at Parliament (and this was not a very good relationship James had with Parliament, y'all) and the dudes will be all "Yo James, we gotta pass this bill to clean up the streets in the 'hood, man" and then James will go "Hey, yeah, that sounds cool, but you know what sounds cooler? DEMONS. Read my book, bitches."
...
Now we get to the good part. James I had these guys at court called "favorites," and I am getting a bigger and bigger grin as I take notes in class, because I discussed this with darthmaligna a while back. (Next to this section in my notes it says "HOYAY!!" in big letters.) They were really pretty and according to my history teacher they liked getting dressed up more than killing people, so yeah, everybody thought they were totally gay.
...
So. Yes. People are starting to think, "hey, maybe the crazy runs in the family?" To which we all say, "WELL, GEE." Jimmy's son, Charles can't do anything weird for the rest of his life, which kind of sucks for him, because people will be all "OMG UR HOLE FAMILY IZ CRAZEE!!11"
*SPORFLE*
I fucking love history. "Rex fuit Elizabeth: nunc est regina Jacobus."
P.S.: Some of my history notes also have "ho yay!" scrawled across them, but more in reference to Lord Darnley and a few of the scenes from The Man In The Iron Mask (the Leonardo di Caprio version, which we watched purely for the period costumes, and which I'd memorized anyway due to watching it at least a week when I was ten or so).
EDIT: Holy 400th entry, Batman!
But, see, James is a king, so he gets whatever the fuck he wants, even when he's, like, three. He wants a cookie? THE BOY GETS A COOKIE. He wants a hundred cookies? HE GETS A HUNDRED COOKIES. He's the fucking king of Scotland, okay? He hears these stories about his parents at court, too, like "Hey James, guess what? Your dad? TOTALLY stabbed this guy over 120 times and then got blown up. And your mom? Total MILF by the way, dude. Yeah, your mom? She, like, went to England and got her head chopped off. Isn't that cool?"
...
Also, he's obsessed with demons. He's, like, some kind of expert, and he wrote a three volume book on demons. Oookay. Apparently, James will be at Parliament (and this was not a very good relationship James had with Parliament, y'all) and the dudes will be all "Yo James, we gotta pass this bill to clean up the streets in the 'hood, man" and then James will go "Hey, yeah, that sounds cool, but you know what sounds cooler? DEMONS. Read my book, bitches."
...
Now we get to the good part. James I had these guys at court called "favorites," and I am getting a bigger and bigger grin as I take notes in class, because I discussed this with darthmaligna a while back. (Next to this section in my notes it says "HOYAY!!" in big letters.) They were really pretty and according to my history teacher they liked getting dressed up more than killing people, so yeah, everybody thought they were totally gay.
...
So. Yes. People are starting to think, "hey, maybe the crazy runs in the family?" To which we all say, "WELL, GEE." Jimmy's son, Charles can't do anything weird for the rest of his life, which kind of sucks for him, because people will be all "OMG UR HOLE FAMILY IZ CRAZEE!!11"
*SPORFLE*
I fucking love history. "Rex fuit Elizabeth: nunc est regina Jacobus."
P.S.: Some of my history notes also have "ho yay!" scrawled across them, but more in reference to Lord Darnley and a few of the scenes from The Man In The Iron Mask (the Leonardo di Caprio version, which we watched purely for the period costumes, and which I'd memorized anyway due to watching it at least a week when I was ten or so).
EDIT: Holy 400th entry, Batman!