Fuck

I've tried to write this before, but all my sentences just end as 'fuck you's.
I hate this and that and nothing at all. I hate the cycles of the universe. Or maybe just the universe.
I think I hate me even more than I hate everyone else. And I think I want to die... but I don't want to hurt and that's what it all comes down to because you can't have one without the other. I want to cease. Or maybe I want everyone else to cease.
See, it could all go the opposite way. I could just as easily be everyone else in the way I'm thinking right now. I'm my worst enemy and everyone else is too, and the world isn't split into two anymore- it isn't Me and Everything Else, but just Everything Else.
Music is trying to keep me sane and drive me crazy and I'm pulled apart by EVERYTHING.
And everything is painful so maybe pain wouldn't be and I want the world to stop.
I know you don't care, love. Loves. All the loves in the world... Sorry, sorry, sorry for this and that.
So. Welcome to my lonely summer, querida.

~Jehane

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Rudyard Kipling