Fifty Ways To Amuse Yourself In A Deli. Plus, Kill Bill!

Fifty Ways To Amuse Yourself In A Deli
(Inspired by Fun Ways To Quit Your Job At The Coffee Stand and Exciting Ways To Pass Time In Meetings)

( Someday I will do every last one of these. )

In other news- it is impossible for me to watch Kill Bill without analyzing fucking everything. I"m sitting there thinking "Okay, a little bit of gratuitous violence will do me good right now" and my brain goes "OOOO-KAY! There's a phallic symbol there... ooh, she's defying the patriarchy! Or is she really enforcing it? What does this relationship mean? How does this conform to action movie stereotypes while simultaneously breaking those stereotypes? How are race relations portrayed in Vol. I?" And I think "Oh my God brain SHUT UP I WANT TO ENJOY MINDLESS ENTERTAINMENT OKAY?!" And then my brain says "Well, okay. But why is Uma Thurman so skinny? Does she eat? How could someone that skinny kick so much ass without breaking in half?" And I think "You know, you've got a point there. We should send her a cake or something."
And that's what happens in my brain.