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ishyfaceSomething I realized a little while ago: I want to get married someday.
Not now. Not tomorrow. Not even soon. I'm only twenty, for God's sake, it's not like I'm in a rush. But someday. Eventually. In the, you know, very distant future.
It doesn't sound like a big, earth-shattering sort of realization when I say it like that, but it really is for me. I remember deciding rather definitely when I was younger that marriage was a silly outdated institution and I didn't want to have anything to do with it ever, and I kind of feel weird for not feeling that way anymore.
I mean, I was twelve at the time. Still.
Probably what weirds me out the most about this is that I've always kind of been snooty about the whole queer marriage thing- like people who get married, or even just want to, are cleaving to our repressive anti-sexual heterosexist capitalist patriarchal blah blah blabbity blah. Discovering that I'd actually like to partake in that represssive et cetera, coupled with the (fairly recent) discovery that I'm monosexual and monogamous, makes me worry that I'm becoming one of those dam' assimilationist queers that I used to get so het up about. (Pun intended.) I don't think I am, exactly- just because some of my personal tastes and desires happen to line up with certain social norms doesn't mean I haven't questioned those norms, or that those tastes and desires are illegitimate- but it makes me a little uneasy.
But still. I look at people who are married, people who've been with another person for a long time, people who can celebrate that, people who work, and I think, I want that. Not now. Not even soon. But someday.
Weird.
Not now. Not tomorrow. Not even soon. I'm only twenty, for God's sake, it's not like I'm in a rush. But someday. Eventually. In the, you know, very distant future.
It doesn't sound like a big, earth-shattering sort of realization when I say it like that, but it really is for me. I remember deciding rather definitely when I was younger that marriage was a silly outdated institution and I didn't want to have anything to do with it ever, and I kind of feel weird for not feeling that way anymore.
I mean, I was twelve at the time. Still.
Probably what weirds me out the most about this is that I've always kind of been snooty about the whole queer marriage thing- like people who get married, or even just want to, are cleaving to our repressive anti-sexual heterosexist capitalist patriarchal blah blah blabbity blah. Discovering that I'd actually like to partake in that represssive et cetera, coupled with the (fairly recent) discovery that I'm monosexual and monogamous, makes me worry that I'm becoming one of those dam' assimilationist queers that I used to get so het up about. (Pun intended.) I don't think I am, exactly- just because some of my personal tastes and desires happen to line up with certain social norms doesn't mean I haven't questioned those norms, or that those tastes and desires are illegitimate- but it makes me a little uneasy.
But still. I look at people who are married, people who've been with another person for a long time, people who can celebrate that, people who work, and I think, I want that. Not now. Not even soon. But someday.
Weird.
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on 2008-11-24 05:12 am (UTC)Oh, dear, did they get all Radicaler Than Thou? I hate that shit. :/
no subject
on 2008-11-25 01:06 am (UTC)Oh, and the desi kids told me I needed to act more Indian. :D
no subject
on 2008-11-25 01:46 am (UTC)And if you are Indian, isn't any way you choose to act by definition Indian? Gah. People are nonsensical.
no subject
on 2008-11-28 09:24 pm (UTC)Unfortunately, this blows people's minds on a daily basis, and not in a good way.